The boy who had me so blind, I couldn’t see myself (1)

What happened to you?
What happened before we met? 
What hadn’t you resolved?
I knew you; you wouldn’t do that. 
You would not kill me and dance on my grave. 
You would apologise and change because you would want to grow.

Were you a psychopath?
Would I have snapped and killed you,
After you killed and danced on my grave again?
God said I should love like him,
But logic demanded that I loved you from afar,
Because my sanity was at stake.

I told God to keep you away if you were no good,
But I also waited for you to come around. 
No matter how many months went by, 
The hope did not fade.
But what was I hoping for?
Where should I have I drawn the line?  
Should I have been praying for you or would that have been pathetic?

I asked my best friend all these questions one day.
“Season and reason. Discernment. Christ-like love, not hatred. Never hatred. “Never doubting that what’s meant to be will be.
“You have healed. There are problems he has not confronted.
“Pray for God to change your attitude towards him so your purpose for meeting him is fulfilled.”

My friend and God made sense so I kept praying for you,
Not so you would come around and be mine,
But so you would deal with everything that weighed you down,
And embrace love.
Even if not mine.