To move on is not to be cowardly, for it is scary and takes plenty of courage.
Dear Ellie & Ari,
Life is like a book,
With some chapters centred entirely on specific elements,
And others feeding into the next ones to create complete loops,
Just like a writer decides the lifespan of a storyline and its subjects,
Making many decisions about what to keep or cut for the best possible outcomes,
So will you decide the lifespans of everything and everyone in your lives.
You will have to move on many times,
From the innocence and simplicity of childhood, to adulthood and its complexities,
From grudges against your father and I for things we could have explained but did not, to understanding our perspectives,
From your first loves and all the prospects they hold, to blank pages and surrender – allowing God to write your stories,
From friendships you thought would last forever to scary levels of independence and the realisation that everything and everyone lasts for a season and a reason,
From regret letters as you apply for jobs and chase your dreams, to learning from your mistakes, understanding your life’s purposes and eventually settling into your own beautifuls.
To move on, you will have to make many tough decisions in these lives of yours,
Like forgiving and actually forgetting, in the case of your father and I, for example, because to enjoy the present is better than to remain in the past, probing for answers that will likely never come.
Like cutting all links with some people, realising that the time is right and that it is important to make room for new connections.
Like resigning from an okay job in order to follow a career path that is always on your mind, knowing it is what you were meant to do in this world.
Like saying no to the norm in order to be unique,
Like really moving on and never looking back, because as Tori Amos said, “ you’ve gotta know when it’s time to turn the page”.
To move on is not to give up, for you must always try until you cannot try anymore,
To move on is not to abandon a loved one, for just as you will be ok, so will they,
To move is not to be vindictive, for one can only truly move on after true forgiveness and letting things go,
To move on is not to be cowardly, for it is scary and takes plenty of courage,
To move on is to open your arms wide in readiness for the next,
And this, my children, is how I hope you will move on whenever it is time to do so.